1. |
Intro (Hurt Less)
01:06
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What the fuck's a meaningful connection?
I never had one, never will, but I tried my best
Staring in the mirror my reflection
Tells me I am nearing closer to my death
Can you lend a hand?
There is so much in this world I don't understand
And the truth is I could really use a friend
Just another bag of bones with their own mess
Just someone to make this whole thing hurt less.
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2. |
Making Plans
04:03
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Maybe it’s time that I put the past behind me
and allow these open wounds to heal
I made a home inside the pain I let define me
but the view from here ain’t so ideal
I can’t trust myself anymore
My instincts have lied before
I just wanna go but I can’t find the door
(And so I stay)
I stay just hanging around
(just hanging around)
fucked up with my head in the gutter again
(waiting for something)
I’ll wait till someone helps me out (helps me out)
(Will you wait)
I’ve been working hard to grow
(wait for me)
into a version of myself that I wanna know
(on the other side of this pain)
but right now I’m exactly where I need to be (a place to breathe)
Maybe it’s time that I pack the pain away.
What good’s it doing me anyway?
Cause I can’t trust myself anymore
my instincts have lied before
I just wanna go but I can’t find the fucking door
(And so I stay)
I stay just hanging around
(just hanging around)
fucked up with my head in the gutter again
(waiting for something)
I’ll wait till someone helps me out (helps me out)
(Will you wait)
I’ve been working hard to grow
(wait for me)
into a version of myself that I wanna know
(on the other side of this pain)
but right now I’m exactly where I need to be (a place to breathe)
Remember when you told me that I’d never change? That I would always stay in the same damn place. Well you were dead wrong cause I’ve been fixing my brain and I’ve been feeling real good as of late. Remember when you told me I was bringing you down? And you just really needed someone happy around. Well that really hurt how you just left me to drown but I pulled myself out anyway.
I’m making plans to be ok.
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3. |
Send For A Hospital
04:05
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Send for an ambulance,
this time I really think I’m dying
I’ve never felt this way before
in the blink of an eye, I look back and I’m on my own
I know I’ve said this all before
but I don’t think I belong here anymore
I find it hard to relate to anyone else
I’m not alone but I’m all by myself
I’m stuck on repeat, in circles spinning around and I’m learning nothing
I’m pumping the breaks, I’m not slowing down
I’m heading straight for a hole in the ground
and I’m bearing the weight of a soul that’s been bound to a lifetime of suffering
Baby I’m really struggling...
Spare me your sympathy
The truth is written on your face
It’s clear that you never cared at all
and I can’t say I blame you the slightest for running away
And if it’s not obvious by now
It’s pretty clear that I’m never gonna figure it out
I find it hard to relate to anyone else
I’m not alone but I’m all by myself
I’m stuck on repeat, in circles spinning around and I’m learning nothing
I’m pumping the breaks, I’m not slowing down
I’m heading straight for a hole in the ground
and I’m bearing the weight of a soul that’s been bound to a lifetime of suffering
Baby I’m really struggling...
I find it hard to relate to anyone else, I’m not alone but I’m all by myself, I’m stuck on repeat in circles spinning around and I’m learning nothing. I’m pumping the breaks, I’m not slowing down. I’m heading straight for a hole in the ground and I’m bearing the weight of a soul that’s been bound to a lifetime of suffering and baby I’m really struggling.
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4. |
Mostly Downs
02:38
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I passed out on your couch
Woke up, smoked up and then freaked out
Can you call my mother?
Let her know that I loved her
I went by your old house
Looks like your family moved out
That place is full of old memories
From a time before you were dead to me
So it’s 2am and here I am again
Googling the best ways to kill myself
This is becoming a routine
But there’s an ocean of pain that lives inside of me
(Dear diary, it’s June 22nd 2015 and I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I’m not sure that I can ever look her in the eyes again. Was any of this even real?) NO!
Manipulator does it feel great?
When you’re lying through your teeth to get your way
and I’ll never believe a word you say
you’re just a name on my list of mistakes.
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5. |
This Is Over
01:29
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Who knows where we’ll be when this is over
I hope somewhere far away
I can’t recall the last time I was sober
but yeah I like it that way
So pour yourself another one on me.
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6. |
Five Day Bender
03:15
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Well if you’re
looking for me,
I’ll be on the road.
With my friend,
his 3 speed box fan
and a pile of dirty clothes.
Fucked up and speeding
Coming down hard off a 5 day bender
The lines were bleeding
As we’re trying to make our way to Denver
90 miles an hour
We don’t really care if the cops start chasing
These days are ours for the taking.
Have you seen
the Rocky Mountains,
basking in the glow?
Or the night sky,
all the stars that blanket
twilight in Colorado.
Fucked up and speeding
Coming down hard off a 5 day bender
The lines were bleeding
As we’re trying to make our way to Denver
90 miles an hour
We don’t really care if the cops start chasing
These days are ours for the taking.
It was just like a dream
Laid out in front of me
The way the stays painted the sky
The air so pure and clean
With my best friend next to me
I could just stay here getting high
Until we die.
Fucked up and speeding
Coming down hard off a 5 day bender
The lines were bleeding
As we’re trying to make our way to Denver
90 miles an hour
We don’t give a fuck if the cops start chasing
These days are ours for the taking.
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7. |
Stay Home
04:44
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I’ve been staying home
A steady diet of no one
And I'm still not sleeping well
Been up searching for myself
Yeah the going it got tough
I barely tried than I gave up
I’ll sit and wait until the next one comes along
Without a doubt I’ll fuck it up
I run away when offered love
A subconscious habit I picked up when I was young and impressionable
I’ve been medicating
A daily dose of alcohol and nicotine
Yeah it helps to take the pain away
This thread I’ve been hanging by’s getting thinner every day
When I can’t sleep I close my eyes
I bide the time till my demise
All I ever wanted was to die when I was young
I’m turned around, I'm twisted up.
I’ve given in, I’m giving up.
Throw my body in a potter's field and let me rot away.
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8. |
Gouge
04:07
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Last night I gouged my own eyes out
So I don’t have to see you anymore
This morning it broke my heart to hear you walk out the door.
So I drove a screwdriver through my ears
so I can never hear your voice again
But in silence I can still smell you in my bed.
Love is like buying a ticket
on an airplane that’s scheduled to crash
A one way turbulent ride to an incredible death.
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